Dead Christmas Trees are suddenly appearing in waterways. Throughout Florida as many as ten, or even thousands of Christmas Trees have been found floating in canals.
In one case a Christmas Tree had no time to react as lights and stand were still found attached to the misdirected tree. Now it just floats awkwardly sideways depleting oxygen levels and compromising fish populations.
One eyewitness was quoted, “its heart wrenching, I just don’t understand, it could be a magnetic shift in the universe that allowed the tree to miss the curb or a government missile test gone bad. This is what happens when the military goes Green. Do they really think they could recycle Christmas Trees and use them as projectiles?”
Another explanation points to climate change. John Franklin was in his home New Years Day watching ESPN when a climate change occurred. Look, Franklin said, “I know for a fact that when my wife caught me watching ESPN the climate definitely changed, she started banging dishes and slamming drawers causing the temperature to plummet to flat out cold. Everything was a blur, I remember falling asleep and when I awoke an elliptical machine and headphones appeared where the Christmas Tree once stood.”
Wyatt Fulton, singer, song writer extraordinaire is quick to point out. “Just a few days ago these trees were celebrating the birth of our Lord the Christ Almighty, and today there is no logical explanation as to why these symbolic carcasses of our commercialization and everything that is wrong with America are floating in the water. “
Wyatt didn’t actually say the last part of his quote, I added it in. Wyatt actually said, “……..Christ Almighty, and the voices of children now echo in half soaked needles, now lets go grab a beer.”
This may happen all the time, as the World becomes more populated we are seeing it more often, especially in populated areas with waterways.
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Very good points. What a difference a few days (weeks) make. They get the “yesterday’s news” sort of treatment for sure.
Your right again Robert! The same goes for water bottles, why if someone cares so much about what they put into their insides, would they discard the plastic bottle and throw it along a trail or into the water? This is one of life’s perplexing questions. Another one that gets me is, some people who pick up after their dogs with a plastic bag, then fling the bag into the woods, what? why? It makes no sense. Its not fun reaching through palmettos trying to grab a hanging bag of dogsh.t